You are on Tina Memorial Page 1
| IN
MEMORY OF TINA D. MESSER
Born on the 21st day of October, 1975, to proud parents Marvin and Nadine Messer. She passed away on September 17th 1995 at 4:45 p.m. at the age of 19, after a long, hard-fought battle with cancer that had taken her left leg as a teenager.
|
|
Many times we hear
people speak of angels, but seldom do we believe that they really exist...let
alone do they really do anything to prosper or guide us through the
rough spots in life's little adventure here on earth. I am sure that we
all would like to believe that there really is a hereafter, and that
what we are going through here on earth is only preparing us for that
life in the promised land. Well, let me tell you a story that will
surely make you want to believe that there are indeed angels here on
earth .
There is a very personal side to this story, as you will see, as it unfolds over the next few lines that you are about to read. The story goes like this.
I believe in angels, as
I have met two in my lifetime. One I lost due to her death from cancer
(Tina) and the other I married (Heidi) after the death of my
first wife Darel of 30 years due to a 22 year fight with
multiple sclerosis.
It was the summer of
1991 and I was running a gift shop called SHARK'S TOOTH COVE, in Myrtle
Beach, South Carolina. As you might guess by the name, I was
dealing with sharks teeth and related shark items in this wonderful oceanside
vacation resort town. The shop was a must-do place to visit when in the
area if you were at all interested in sharks.
On a bright sunny day
in the middle of the hot summer (that's all we have here) in walked this
very petite, pretty little blond girl about 15 years old, I would have
guessed. I could hear her comments about all the real cool shark stuff
even before she got to the center of the store where the best things
were waiting for her to discover. The excitement in her voice told me
that this would be another real adventure for me in the sense that I
would be opening her up to a world that she really couldn't comprehend
at this very moment. Little did I realize at that moment that she
wanted to become a marine science professional.
Tina (in yellow) surrounded by her mother Nadine (far left), and friends Our two worlds were about to collide as we both had a lot to share with each other. We were both in for a shock of sorts, and mine was the first. As she approached the counter in the middle of the store, it wasn't until then that I saw the pair of crutches she was using, nor the fact that she had only one beautiful tan leg supporting her body. Yet, the smile on her face was so captivating that you knew whatever it was that had taken her leg was of no real concern to her. During our following conversation, I did ask her what type of shark it was that had gotten her leg. She and her friends all just got a big laugh out of my question, and she would later go on to tell me about her fight with cancer.
She spent a
considerable amount of time in the shop asking all the typical questions
about the shark collections that I had on display and for sale. She
purchased several items and was given the standard package of freebees
that I would give to all genuinely interested shark enthusiasts that
came to the shop.
A couple of days later
she came to the shop with her mother and we were able to sit and have a
very nice conversation about her and her situation. It was at that time
that my wife Darel appeared from behind the counter in her electric
wheelchair. Tina was very surprised and a little embarrassed to think
that I had spent so much time with her, discussing her disease,
when I should have been dealing with my wife and her situation first.
The compassion I
saw on her face when she spoke with Darel about her MS and the effects
that it had on her life was overwhelming to me. Here was a
young girl that had lost her leg to cancer at such a young age, yet had
not a sound of bitterness in her sweet young voice. She had taken all
what had happened to her as if this were normal and had gotten on with
her life. Not for a moment did I get the feeling that there was a
thought that this just might not be the end of her experience with
cancer. Little did we know that within the next two years she would be
fighting for her life once again.
Over the next couple of
years we spoke and visited on many occasions. It was during these
wonderful moments of release from our two worlds of hell that we became
very close friends. We were able to put aside all the ills of the health
situations we were dealing with and enjoy all the treasures that I had
acquired over the years. We spoke of my travels around the world seeking
out people that were deeply involved with the shark and marine world.
Tina could only hope that one day she too would be able to meet the
likes of Rodney Fox, Ron and Valerie Taylor, The Shark Lady, and so many
more interesting people that I had come in contact with in the field of
Marine Science.
During these wonderful
times, never did I ever get the feeling that she was missing out on any
of life's adventures, as she in her own world was on a mission of her
own. She was such a positive person and was so full of life that people
were so taken with her genuine interest in their lives. She wanted to
help everyone that she came into contact with. She had a very large
heart, one filled with love for anyone that would let her into their
lives.
I welcomed her into my
life with no reservations at all. There was nothing I wouldn't do for
her, and she for me. Every time we spoke, she always asked about
Darel, before I could ask about her. This beautiful child, on more than
one occasion was able to lift my spirits when times were so rough for
me. There were times when I didn't think I could possibly take another
day of caring for my wife. Then I would feel guilty, when I would hear
her voice or read her letters as she described what was going on in her
life...not knowing that her days were very limited, and the grains of
sand were quickly running out of her hour glass of life.
In November of 1993, after long discussions with Darel's many doctors, I was told she had less than a year to live. If I had anything special that I wanted to do with her, now was the time to do it. With no hesitation, I set into motion the closing of our gift shop in preparation for a journey that would take us from one end of our wonderful country to the other.
We gave Tina this drawing when we closed the shop
During our travels, I
would send post cards to a select few that had touched my life in a way
that I didn't want to lose touch with them. Tina was at the top of that
list. No matter where I was, there wasn't a time when I didn't wonder
about her and say a prayer or two for her good health.
It was the summer of
1995, and we were in British Columbia on our way to Fairbanks, Alaska,
when my mail of some three months finally caught up with us. There
were several letters there from Nadine, Tina's mother. It was with heavy
heart that I read that Tina's cancer had returned with a vengeance
and the outcome was not very good. Nadine told me that she didn't think
Tina would live out the remainder of the year. She was already too sick
to speak to me on the phone.
I asked if there was
something special that I could do for Tina that might brighten up her
final days. Nadine told me her son who was in the Air Force was
stationed in Fairbanks, Alaska some years ago and had flown Tina up
there for a visit. This was all I needed to know. Within a few
short days I was in the Fairbanks area and set about putting together a
care package of local items that would bring back a lot of good
memories of her visit. I shipped this overnight to Tina back in South Carolina.
I was very surprised
when I called the very next day to check on Tina's condition, to learn
that the package had arrived and she was already wearing the nightshirt
I had sent her. Nadine told me how happy Tina was when she saw the
contents of my package. Later I would find out that she wore that shirt
every day until she passed away. This gave me a lot of comfort, as I
knew I was as close to her as possible in those last few days
of her special life.
I received my last
letter from Nadine on Labor Day weekend, around the 15th of the month. The
tone of the letter told me that things were very bad and that time was
running out for Tina. This was a very sad letter, as her a mother was
experiencing the death of one of her two children. No child is
supposed to die before their parents, it's just a concept that we can't
seem to grasp, yet it happens all the time. It's just not supposed to
happen to us. What ever that means.
I called and Nadine
told me that Tina had been slipping in and out of a coma for a the last
two days, and I knew this was pretty much the end of her struggle
and she would be leaving us very soon.
On the 17th of
September around noon, I had just finished giving Darel her bath
and had put her to bed, when I thought about calling Nadine to
check on the current situation. I had a very strange feeling come
over me. There was a 4 hour time difference between Alaska and South
Carolina, so I knew that the family would all be together for the dinner
hour, so I would wait a little while longer before I would call.
As I sat in my easy
chair in the dark, with my two cats curled up in my lap, listening
to the soft sounds of classical music in the background, as I so often
do to escape the reality of my day, I had this very strange feeling come
over me that was very overwhelming. As I re-read Nadine's last letter,
as I have so many times already, the sadness I had felt before was gone.
In its place was a very warm, peaceful, and very pleasurable
feeling of happiness. A
feeling like I have not known for some time now. It was almost as if
someone or something was reaching out and touching me , and reassuring
me that everything was going to be ok and there wasn't any need for me
to worry about Tina or anything any longer. I felt like a burden was
being lifted from my shoulders, and that things were going to be
different somehow, from here on out. Maybe it was the wonderful music I
was listening to, or the fact that my cats were purring by my side, or
Darel was resting after such a difficult morning she had that day.
Little did I realize at
that very moment, that Tina had just passed away. I wouldn't know this
for another two days. I believe now and will always believe, that
the feeling I was experiencing while relaxing in my chair that
afternoon, was from the presence of an ANGEL.
Tina touched the lives of all who met her, even those who learned about her after her passing. A condensed life of kindness goes a long way. It's not the length of life that matters, it's how it is lived. --Glenn Reed |
 Tina on her senior cruise with a friend. |
|
Yellow roses for Tina's 10th anniversary memorial, from Glenn
FRIENDS and FAMILY of Tina are welcome to email us with their experiences and thoughts about this special person, and we will post them here on her page. Email Glenn at: sharkman@sccoast.net
|
| 10/3/05
from Tina's Mom Nadine after this web page was up -
Dear Glenn, How beautiful!! This is the most awesome thing. Is it not strange that this being the tenth year, and it was seeming to be one of the hardest for us to get through the anniversary of her death...that you would re-appear into our life? She must have sent you back to us. I love the way you constructed the whole memorial. You have a special gift! We have a special gift by knowing you. Darel and Tina were two of the best gifts God could have given. I remember how excited Tina would get when we knew we were coming to the beach. The first thought on her mind was your shop. She told all her friends about you. When she knew her time was very short...she said, "Mama, you can give any of these pictures away (in her room) except that one." You know which one. The Great White that was autographed. The one you so graciously took off the wall that day and gave her. She was so excited all the way home, she talked of nothing else. Remember the one that wasn't autographed...I can not remember if you gave it to her or she bought it. It is framed and in the hall at the Pediatric Center in Greenville. The framer donated the brass plaque on the bottom that tells of her birth and death. The doctor over the whole Children's Hospital told me just the other day that he thinks of her every day. I asked, "How so?" He said they moved the picture from the exam room to the hall. As he passes has says he thinks of her smile. The shark that was painted on the tile was donated in her memory to her Science class at her high school. The teacher was her favorite. He even came to the house and brought Pizza. Every time she was in the hospital, he came. You have brought back so many sweet memories for us. I thank you. Please take care. I think I will try to find that Science teacher and tell him of the Memorial. --Nadine |
|
10/3/05 from Glenn
to Tina's mom Nadine,
Thank you for your
permission to publish the memorial. I do hope that you contact a lot of
people and spread the word about what we are doing. I think it will give
everyone a chance to reflect on how she has affected their lives since
she passed away. It will also give others reading it the time to look at
what their lives are all about, and just maybe they will make a change
in what they are doing and appreciate what they have rather than what
they don't have. I would love to hear from her doctors and nurses, and
have them tell us directly about the picture in the hall.
I am sure Tina
reached out and touched me again, and that's one of the reasons that I
was able to find you two after this 5 years that we were out of contact.
THERE ARE REASONS WHY WE DO WHAT WE DO, WHEN WE DO IT.
|
|
12/12/07
Dear Glenn, I
have been enjoying your wonderful website and just read the memorial for
Tina – so beautiful. My son, Jerome, was killed by a hit and run
driver on September 17, 2003 at age 26. No words can describe the
pain of a parent losing a child. Knowing that Tina and Jerome are
together put a smile on my face and warmed my heart. Thank you for
sharing. Warm
regards, Denise Snyder ===============
Denise,
Thank you for your kind words. Sharing
such a loss with the world is just my way of dealing with such a
terrible amount of pain, that most people can't begin to understand.
It is my hope that in reading about Tina,
maybe there are families that are in desperate need for a little
understanding , and to know that they are not alone in dealing with
their grief. No parent ever wants to outlive their children, and when
they are taken at such early ages it's almost more than one can bear.
Sharing is such a caring experience that we all can benefit from.
I wish you all the best, and am so glad
that Tina and I have touched you in this special way. Her life continues
to touch people , she truly is an ANGEL.
Kindest Regards,
Glenn Reed
|
